Date posted: April 1, 2009 - Wednesday
Title: Something of a life update
Current mood: contemplative
It’s been a long time since I posted anything here so I figured I should at least let anyone who’s interested know I am still alive.
A long time ago, just after I got laid off, I wrote a blog that talked about the syndrome that accompanies an extended period of unemployment. I detailed the types of events and feelings I have experienced in previous times when I have been out of work for a long time.
Well, despite pure intentions to avoid the pitfalls I have seen before, a lot of them have come to pass for me in the last two years. Major among them is the depression and loss of self worth that seems to haunt me.
Like a lot of people I guess a part of my self worth is tied up with a weekly paycheck. I haven’t ever been able to totally accept I have value when I am not being paid. So, once there isn’t a regular reinforcement of worth in the form of money I tend to begin to doubt myself.
OK, so I have good days and bad days. I will be OK for a couple of days and get things done around the house and then I will lapse again and sleep late into the day.
I know, this is all more whining. Maybe I just need to get it out and shame myself into doing something with my life.
I am managing to survive financially through a combination of unemployment and Social Security. It just barely pays my bills and won’t last for an extended period. Unemployment will run out in August if I qualify for the extension contained in the Federal stimulus package which was just passed. And the tax refund I should be getting shortly will help me make it to that date. After that I either have to have another source of income or start dipping into my 401K programs again.
With a lot of time on my hands I finally gave in to the other social networking site where a lot of people I know have a presence. Yep, I have a Facebook page now. And there was a really unexpected result to my signing up.
I reconnected with the lady I dated in college. She was the first woman I seriously wanted to marry. She wasn’t interested in continuing a relationship when we parted after I graduated from college and headed off to spend a couple of years in the US Army. We have only exchanged a single e-mail and I don’t expect there to be a strong renewal of communications, but it was really strange to see the face I remember as young and fresh staring back at me as mature.
And just this week another thing from my youthful past has come around again.
I went through high school with the desire to be a chemistry teacher. I entered community college with that in mind and took chemistry and math courses toward this end for a couple of years.
But it was an introduction to writing and journalism late in my high school years that became the focus of my college career. I worked on the school newspaper while at the junior college and then continued that work on to a degree in Journalism at my four-year college.
After the Army I returned to college for an advanced degree in communications, but the morphed into an MA degree in television and film. And I was taking courses in English and writing at the same time because I had to follow something deep within myself that drove me to write.
Upon graduation I used my degree and the coursework in English to get a community college teaching credential. I’m not even sure why I did it outside of the fact the credential would be granted based on the degree without taking education courses. I know it ticked off my sister, the life-long teacher, because my credential was a life-long one and she had to work hard to get that status for hers in elementary education.
I went on to use the Journalism degree as a reporter and editor for a few years and didn’t think much about the teaching credential. Oh, every once in a while I would think about what it would be like to teach. My subject emphasis had changed from chemistry to writing though. And I learned the chances of actually using that degree in an area that interested me were fairly slim. Courses in writing were the plums for teachers. You had to teach years of basic English before you got enough seniority to be able to teach a class in writing. So, I pretty much ignored it.
Then this week I got one of my daily alerts for possible jobs from Monster.Com. And there it was. A fairly well-known commercial college was looking for people to become instructors for its online program.
Intrigued, I followed the link and discovered there was actually a division of this college which offered associate degrees (yes, a community college degree). So, just for giggles, or maybe out of desperation, I applied.
Now, I suspect this will be another fruitless effort since I applied for a position teaching writing and my degree is in television and film and my work experience is in newspaper work and then my career in office work. But, I find that I am actually enthusiastic about the possibility of teaching writing.
I have found, over years, there is a real lack of decent writing in the general population. It has amazed me when I have discovered people in rather high positions within a company who can’t seem to put together a simple sentence. So, I guess there’s a need out there.
I’m not even sure I really have the chops to teach others, but I do know there have been instances over the years where I have helped people learn something new in places I have worked. Mostly this has been in the area of computer work.
I have been mulling it over in my mind the last couple of days since I submitted my application and sent along my resume. I think I would like doing this if it works out. I know it won’t pay a whole lot, but it might also spark me to continue on with my own writing that I have been letting slide for a long time now.
I guess that’s about it from me. Each day is much like the one before and I am surprised every time the weekend rolls around and I realize another week has passed. Not a healthy realization.
(POST NOTE: You may notice that this blog is posted to friends only. I have decided that anything I post here will be available only to those on my friends list. I didn’t exactly get a ton of criticism for some of the last blogs I wrote, but I’m
