Date posted: December 22, 2005 - Thursday
Title: Christmas
Current mood: nostalgic
I have developed a kind of Love/Hate relationship with Christmas over the last few years.
When I was younger, and even into my adulthood, I loved the season. Coming from a large family Christmas was a huge event just based on the number of people involved. But it was also large because of the way we approached things.
A mom, a dad and eight brothers and sisters all in one place at one time. And as we grew up we added wives and husbands and grandchildren to the Holiday. At the peak we had over twenty people in the house at one time.
Everyone was up early when we were younger. Checking out the boxes under the tree and trying to figure out what we were getting. Mom went first to the kitchen because she had to start the meal. Ham usually and all the trimmings that go with it; mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, peas and pies. And there was the snacking table.
We would set up the dining room table with all kinds of things to snack on as we opened presents and waited for the main meal of the day. There were dips, crackers, sliced meats like salami, potato chips, vegetable sticks and cookies.
When we were younger everything was done by Mom. As we grew up we helped out where we could to get everything ready.
So we snacked, opened presents then had dinner in the early evening and finished the day sitting around talking.
Outside of the family I always loved Christmas because I loved to find the perfect thing to give someone. I took great pride in being able to find something that fit the person I was giving it to. Something the person needed, something that fit in with their tastes and their likes and personality. The perfect perfume. The simple piece of jewelry.
When I grew up there were presents for special people in my life and treats for friends. I would bake. Something like one hundred dozen cookies. Yes, 100 dozen.
I would go to someplace like Pick ‘n Save and find a container. One year it was fruit cake tins, one year it was nightstand water jars or anything I could find to hold cookies. Each person got between one and a half and two dozen cookies depending on how many I cooked and how many people I was preparing them for. One year I even made candy to give out. It took probably a couple of days of baking to get all the cookies done and then they went into containers and were handed out to friends.
There were years when things were tight and I couldn’t do as much as I wanted. One year when things were really tight I asked my mother for help. She taught me to knit. I made a sweater and shawl for the lady I was dating at the time.
The knitting went on with a sweater for my sister. Then my girlfriend insisted I make something for myself before I made anything more for her. So I made a fisherman’s sweater that wound up winning a prize at the Del Mar County Fair. And finally a large cowl-neck sweater for the lady.
I loved giving things to people. There was a joy within me when I knew the gift would be perfect (at least perfect in my eyes). I got great happiness out of giving these things; even in the rare occasion when the person receiving them didn’t know who had presented them with the gift.
Some of those feeling remain with me today. I still get great joy from finding the perfect present for someone. The present based on the things important to the person receiving it.
The changes in my feelings about the Christmas Season came gradually over a number of years. Once my father died our traditions changed a little. Sometimes we still met at Mom’s house, sometimes we might go to my sister’s house.
And then, five years ago, my mother died.
She was the glue that held us all together. Not that we have separated completely from each other now, but the occasions when we all get together, or even most of us, are far fewer now than they were when she was alive. We all seem to have our individual lives and as we grew up it just got too expensive for us to buy “adult” things for everyone in the family.
And beyond the family the world seems to have changed as well.
Usually the signs of Christmas could be seen around you as the weather got cold. But over several years the signs came earlier and earlier. First it was just after Thanksgiving decorations appeared. This year they were up well before Thanksgiving and that was disturbing.
And the atmosphere of greed has also increased over the years.
You used to know it was Christmas when you saw Santa riding the floating heads of a Norelco razor across the snow. And that was an expensive gift you could give.
But the advertisements began to show more and more expensive gifts and hype you to buy them and give them. The idea of family seemed to take a back seat to the idea of gifts and greed.
And this year seems to be the worst yet. I saw a series of ads this year that suggested the perfect gift was a Lexus automobile. A Lexus?????
So, with greed running amuck, I am trying to maintain my spirit for Christmas this year.
A lot of us will gather at my sisters in the afternoon. It will mean food and talking and playing board games and we will recapture some of the spirit form years’ past. And I will remember how it was and how it has been over the years and take joy in the experiences of the past while enjoying the food and the time with the people I love.
