Date posted: September 26, 2005 - Monday
Title: Regrets, I have a few ...
Current mood: Longing, Wistful
One of the big regrets I have is I never learned to dance.
When I was younger I was too shy. I had moved around so much as I grew up I felt isolated and I didn’t fit in very well. I was always the “new guy” and so I didn’t become a member of the “in” crowd; the people who had the gatherings and such.
So I fell behind in learning the social niceties and the ways of social interaction. This included participating in social gatherings and leaning the rudiments of dancing.
And I was shy. I thought maybe too much about how others would see me or how I would look and I didn’t want to be seen as someone struggling to learn or not knowing.
When I got to college I actually tried to learn. I still wasn’t going to social functions, but I took a PE class in dancing. We shuffled around with shoe boxes on our feet and learned the formal steps of several dances. But, I was not comfortable. I could not relax in the classroom setting. And being partnered with a girl who was a song leader and a favorite of the teacher didn’t help. She felt the need to excel in front of the teacher and that was no help in building my confidence in what I was learning.
And so, while I may have learned the basics in this class, all that has faded from memory,
So the chance I had to fill this hole in my life was wasted. I remained as I had always been, lacking the skill, lacking the confidence and lacking the courage to ask someone to teach me.
I see movies like “Shall We Dance” or the Australian film “Strictly Ballroom” and I imagine what I am missing.
Thus the great regret. That regret? I cannot hold a woman in my arms and move with her. I cannot express my feelings for her in movement. And it causes a terrible longing in me.
